48h

•Iunie 16, 2016 • Lasă un comentariu

 

 

Seconds, minutes, hours, one day… maybe two. How about years? Every each one of them is felt different, by each of us. Every each one of them has different meanings to us, me or you. It passes through us like a huge spider web, holding us all together because we are all connected to time. We are all irrevocable connected to each other.

One day… time stopped. I felt it breathing in my face, I heard my heard pounding like the wings of a bird pushing up… against gravity. Then time let go, and I took a breath. I was suddenly feeling my body everywhere. Wondering what lies ahead of time, I realized that it doesn’t even matter. Because no matter how much our way of wanting things doesn’t  go the way it should, it will always be just the way it goes without further explanations. You control only fractions of what you can do. It doesn’t have to change us, just because we don’t get the things we want, or the way we want time to work for us.

But what about when you feel that time stops? What is actually happening to us? We feel… and so time passes unobserved, like a ghost.  The majority of your life you will be too busy running after it, or it running after you (depends on the case), and not thinking about it. This generation for sure grabbed time by its hand and drags it the other way around, but then… as they don’t stop to think about it, time turns against them, and so… against all of us.

You might be thinking time is natural, time is born out of need to quantify human actions, universe movements, but I say time is owned by us. We pay every second of it, with our lives. What we choose to do when having this trip is what actually matters to your time. We all have our time. Your heart is a reminder of the time that passes through you, near you, in you. She beats seconds, minutes, hours, days, years, a century…

After Sleeping Hermaphrodite, Roman statue, 2d century AD. Louvre, Paris

Sit and think about it. Right now as you read this… seconds just passed.  I made you think about time. How does it feel?  (Write a comment below if you think something different, I’d like to know)

  1. That time is above all else.
  2. Time means money (wrong answer btw, it’s the other way around)
  3. Time is growing old?
  4. Time is an enemy?
  5. Etc.

Is there someone who tries to fight time? I am, you are.  As we hold on to our lives and enjoy the seconds, minutes, hours… from time to time, stop! Stop and think about it.  Have some faith in that time, it’s yours.

Faith has always found its way in our hearts, such as daylight follows after dark.

“Love? One day might be above all else”  Key word: one day…

Contemplare

•Ianuarie 12, 2016 • Lasă un comentariu

 Stăteam și mă gândeam într-o zi la frumusețea vieții… la cât de arar se bucură unii de ea. Eram la o cafenea în centru, așteptând pe cineva care întârzia… și singurul lucru care îmi trecea prin cap e că nu depinde de noi. Ci de o forță invizibilă, pe care nu o gândește nimeni. Cred că sunt relativi puțini oameni care stau și se întreabă în ce constă frumusețea cu adevărat. De ce frumusețea vieții depinde de lucruri materiale pentru unii, iar pentru unii nu. Nu știu. Cred că aici alegerea e a fiecăruia.
 
 Ce-mi distrage atenția în special este cum oamenii nu își dau seama cât sunt de frumoși naturali, sau ei înșiși. NU mă refer la pitzi (hm. tocmai am realizat… care e masculinul? pitzoi? mă rog… i’ll get movin’), care își fac o mie de selfie.  Că probabil și alea au o deformare a realității pe care le e teamă să o accepte. Mă refer la ce a mai rămas din normalitatea umană a zilelor noastre. A oamenilor care nu au nevoie de like-uri pentru a știi că sunt apreciați, și care caută un contact mai fizic cu oamenii decât o tastatură, care nu dau o mie de bani pe haine și accesorii ci pe cărți, și lucruri care fac o bună investietie. Oameni care nu se lasă duși de imitația și copiatul acestor zile, care au curajul să spună că au o personalitate a lor și cărora nu le e teamă de toată „judecata” celorlalți. 169972337
 
 În ultimii doi ani am cunoscut mulți oameni cărora le e teamă să nu fie judecăți de „societate”. Li s-a impus… nu știu pe ce canal, (că eu nu am fost pe el pare-se) că trebuie să fi într-un anumit fel, că trebuie să faci lucrurile într-un fel anume, și că trebuie să ai și tu tot ce au ceilalți, și etc. Dar de când trebuie să fim noi toți egali? Logica îmi spune că eu și vecina nu merităm aceleași lucruri. Eu cu tine care citești acum suntem diferiți, chiar dacă din acelaș material.  Există o diferență de percepție a lumii care schimbă totul, și totuși într-un fel sau altul cine a făcut-o și cum a făcut-o, i-a convins pe mulți că cel mai rentabil e să fii ca celălalt, să îl copiezi,  să nu fii tu… cu toate că toți știu pe de-rost „fi tu, fi original” și etc. Dar simplul fapt că se învârt toți într-o minciună mă face să cad pe gânduri (evident fără să îmi rup o mână).
 
 Oare eu în ce minciuni cred ? (or fi fiind ceva… că doar nu sunt absolută). Oare prietenii mei de ce se opun unor valuri? Oare pe ce val sunt eu de fapt că văd un pic din exterior unele lucruri. Cred că nu-s pe val. Cred că sunt pe lângă.
 
  Și imaginați-vă că tot acest torent de gânduri vine de la o tipă care stătea în fața mea, și care se uita la o alta de alături și o imita în poziție ca să pară și ea elegantă… ca aceea. Care părea să nu suporte că și ei îi întârzia cineva…că e singură cu gândurile ei.

Rome wasn’t built in a day

•Octombrie 2, 2015 • Lasă un comentariu

Neither are thoughts. So I came to the conclusion that sometimes we are so busy running that we forget where we are heading to. I personally, seem to have a problem lately in thinking about home. After 2 yrs spent on the big map of Europe… home seems just like a piece of a puzzle. I am not sure I know what home is, or if home is where I decide to be.

We are a generation of scattered people through allover the world, not knowing what is going to happen, with a huge lack of stability, and a creepy situation of facing chaos daily. I wish i was born last century. only 100 yrs back… when people were calm, and certainly more peaceful.

I’m born in the century when the circle prepared to close. We are one fast killing society, we are destroying everything that others managed to safe, and even more, ourselves. We have to face it people, we are going down. Very few positive aspects about the society we live in. And do not sell me positivism and craps on a stick, those are far from what we should really see, those who wanna see butterflies when it’s just a fake image that covers in reality a dirty wall with a graffiti. I do appreciate art and archaeology more than anything in the world, and i do see lovely things in this life. and there are certainly at least a few things worth living for, but i was just meditating in the middle of the night, about how many people from the past… (historians, politicians, whatever person) saw their generation going towards the cliff and just watchin, and watching… and watching and… moving on.

By the way, in Rome it’s still rainy but coffee still has a lovely scent.

After all, we all rise and fall

•Aprilie 16, 2015 • 2 comentarii

What have we become…? What can we (l)earn from all this?
Was it this that the world was supposed to arrive at?

Present seems a vague shadow of what humans used to be by all means.
In the past lie treasures of knowledge long lost… and simplicity seems long buried in the sands of time, and legend.
Today… looking in the eyes of people I wonder which one of our souls will make any difference. Are we not too many? Are we that many? They say many makes a difference but what if they were wrong… what if many means we get lost into chaos of too much is too much? The world as we know it today is just scraps of what civilization used to be. Mankind degraded itself… more than ever was before.
I see people walk in the streets like they are worth having everything… But is it true? I believe not. It seems the world has forgotten its rightful place; we were born and raised to be humans not animals. Born and raised to live normal with what we have, and be thankful for it, but this is not available anymore, everyone wants everything. Greed. But then again the animal instinct rises at the surface wondering and showing its teeth and claws as if it’s fighting for survival. We lost our gestures, our nurture towards the past, our respect for everything that was built on forces that today no longer exist. We lost respect even for our self’s…even if we pretend we care more than ever. It’s all a lie, even the faces that we see in the mirror seem not to recognize us if we look closer. For as we are, we might never know because we are all misleading and fooled by images of copying one each other. It’s like personalities lost their battle, and only the winners phase lies between our selves protruding to make a point that has no valor.
We all got lost in mirrors of Narcissus that hangs himself in the watery image of itself. In images that point that we are the best, the worthiest of them all. Isn’t this just a fake glass of water? Is everything that others believed in, lost? Are we about to fall… and never to rise again?
Every time I try to look Fate in the eyes… there is just a cloud… and a forest of blur. Soon from now, generations will grow not knowing what compassion is, what human kind is actually capable of. Not capable of communicating with each other, just hypnotized by their phones and stupid gadgets. United generations sounds like a dream, we all know it’s very less possible for as we grow older we lose all the seeds that we grew from. We lost connection with nature… the most important and feeding of all. We lost respect for the Elders as in even if they can be crazy sometimes, they still are “the elders” the ones that have a life in front of us. We lost appreciation for simplicity, for being happy as we are and as we were born to be.We lost respect for the Books. The most mind-numbing enriching experience of them all. There is nothing in the world that can feed you more than books in knowledge.


Watching the word crumbling feels like an eternity of cold rains. Somehow some people lost faith in humanity; I myself still doubt there is any escape from ourselves. Past times had some serious leaders, and some real hero-trouble makers… but at least they grew on something they believed in, and even if they did not feed the nations as we do the reality is still the same, just that middle class seems to crumble into poverty and the richest seem to get even richer because today there is no one to stop all goods to lie in the hand of one to rule them all, but to all to rule thousands. Strong lies the hand of time that keeps like Atlas the Globe on its strong shaky shoulders. Fate might still lie in some eyes, but as I see it it goes weaker by the day, and rare by the years.
Surrounded by a strange commodity it seems that it no longer satisfies our lives. Our lives are meant to be simple, not all of us deserve everything, but better is the word. „Dream big”, is a phrase to cloud the minds of people that get lost in translation. And doh.. they’re so many. We cannot be equal, since we are not created to be equal.
So many get lost in words… they might indeed know how to write and read, but they might as well f**k the sense out of these words as they are incapable of understanding.
Past lies in my mind… as a reward for what we can do with our lifes. I stick to it no matter how much I would like to look to the present I prefer digging it as it still feeds my soul for knowledge and it still feeds my mind with better worlds than the new world wants me to feed on. I look up to people of the past, less known… People who did things, not people who talk things and brag about themselves too much.

After all we all rise and fall, but we shall not forget it is the eyes that show us our souls are long lost in this new world.

Rainy days…

•Februarie 7, 2015 • Lasă un comentariu

Play before:

Walking on the cobbled stones in what was once ancient Rome thinking about the rain… I see people in a hurry passing near me, I have no umbrella… Partly because I forget it almost every time, partly because I don’t mind some rain from time to time. My curls start to join… and my eye-glasses are giving me blurry vision so I take them off.

People are carefully watching their steps on the cobbled stones… I raise my eyes towards the sky and the raindrops, feeling them cold as soon as they run down my face… people start running, while I’m leaving the Colosseum in the back… heading towards the Roman Forum. I cross Via dei Fori Imperiali and I stop and stare at the ruins as they turn darker…rain changes color of so many things. Even me… the colors of my clothes go darker as I stare down at how the shirt sticks to my chest…I hear laughs and I turn my head to see young girls passing near, their clothes are all too tight anyway in a daily base, but now they look almost naked, with all their body shapes evidenced by the water that goes through the textile. I hear heavier steps and I see 2 guys around 40 starring at them, as they were giggling cute and stupid in the same time.

I turn back to my image of raindrops and ruins wishing for the first time in my life, I could paint such as I see this image. Mneah, I’m might be artsy pants sometimes… but certainly not that good, there are things I can’t take out of my brain. Suddenly i realized I’m gonna draw something as soon as I get home. Still starring… I always loved the way drops leave a line on their way down…blurring all the way the image in front of you. My hair was completely wet by the time I heard high-heels and I turned again to see the wonder… indeed she was a beauty. She had an umbrella, a short dress.. but decent…and a hot white shirt that was completely soaking wet on her skin, she was the business-like type of a woman. Besides her was a happy smiley guy that was looking in her eyes, with a fraction of a second a bit more down…

I raised my eyebrows wondering if that was the reason why he was so happy, because she was wet and you could just see through the clothes the shape of everything. He had some sort of a madness in his eyes… Looking around them there were other people, some just nearly running, some just going on a normal pace, when suddenly rain starts with a heavy quantity of water, her umbrella turns and wind starts playing jokes like he wanted to get rid of umbrellas. She blokes confused, and for a moment I though she is gonna get mad and instead of this she took her shoes of, a nice elegant pair of high-heels, while the guy was holding the turned-back umbrella trying to fix it. His eyes were sparkling like magic when she starts dancing, and make him throw away the umbrella to join… they started kissing in the middle of the road while people that were running turned their head to blink numb at their moment. She then starts so jump on her feet, because of the cold water no doubt and he grabs her in his arms. Lovely scene in the middle of the road…heavy rain, they did not even blink while the whole scene was turning into a apocalypse rain. My clothes started to feel really heavy when suddenly I turn my head back for a moment to watch the forum…again. The light changed completely into a dark one, and I realized near me was another girl watching the young couple having their wildly-fun break free moment. When she notices I was watching her, she turned her gaze towards me… I was just sitting there like she was, pretending not to look at them thinking that if we were in a couple of hundreds of years back they might’ve started having sex in plein-air…

She smiles, I smile back and it was like a whole conversation with the eyes about „love does that to you” that we had for a few seconds. We stare back at them, and they started moving slowly… and romantic in the landscape. When I looked at the girl near me, she became sad, she blinked like a child, and erased her cheeks and some thoughts darkened my face too, about the fact that she was probably crying when she saw them, and because of the rain… this aspect was not visible. And that thing which just happened, made her sad and happy in the same time if that is possible.

I moved away… gazing one more time to the Forum, thinking I am more heavy than I was before.

Everyone had their own time for craziness, love and sadness. This whole life is made by all these with more or less participation from one of them, but never… absolutely never doubt that fact that life gives you rain to wash you away… either from sadness, either to wake-the-hell-up and start moving. As some famous quotes say, „its not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about dancing in the rain”. These guys done it, and I can bet it felt good. Proof that some people love feeling the rain not just passing by and getting wet.

Open your eyes when it rains, you can still see things around you.

Spre cer

•Decembrie 1, 2014 • Lasă un comentariu

Ninge-n Ardeal, şi plouă la Roma. Cât de adesea mi-am dorit uitându-mă în lumina stâlpilor fără soţ să simt cum mi se topesc fulgi pe faţă, în loc de picuri mici şi reci. Ce straniu ne lăsăm afectaţi de vremea de afară. Sunt atâtea tipuri de oameni care se schimbă în funcţie de vremea de afară. Atâtea tipuri de inimi…

Crăciunul e sărbătoarea mea preferată. În mod straniu mi se pare că lumea zâmbeşte mai mult în această perioadă, nu ştiu dacă are legătură cu faptul că totul în jur e decorat, că toate bunătăţile vor fi pe masă alături de familie, dar presupun că are legătură şi cu schimbul de cadouri… de la Moşul, cu mirosul de prăjiturele, cu vinuţuri fierte aromate, şi cu pufoşenia puloverelor şi a fularelor frumos colorate.

Iarna este un joc de culori, totul are o alură de calm. Lumea păşeşte încet, şi cu grijă, eh unii măcar…şi totul pare acoperit. Asta îmi place cel mai mult. Că nu vezi nimic pe jos… că scârţâie sub papuci, că mai aluneci… că lumea zâmbeşte. Straniu. Îmi place pur şi simplu muţenia albului.

Cu siguranţă aţi fost vreodată într-un loc departe de oraş… la o căbănuţă în munţi, unde v-aţi bucurat de o clipă de linişte şi fericire. Nu-i aşa că e splendid să admiri în linişte…muţenia naturii… cu susurul unui pârăiaş, care trece pe sub gheaţă şi cu un vânticel rece… dar curat?

În viziunea mea, nimic nu e mai răcoritor ca aerul de munte. Nu odată m-am gândit că posibilitatea să deschid o uşa şi să trag o gură de aer „tare” m-ar ajuta mult mai mult decât un pahar de alcool, sau o palmă în cuvinte gândite de mine…

Dar… odată cu iarna, este un amor ciudat în aer. Feţe fericite braţ la braţ, înmănuşaţi şi îmbrăţişaţi la tot pasul. Cu căciuli, sau nu… sărutându-se sau nu… parcă o fac mai romantic. Roşul o fi de vină. E peste tot. Culoarea amorului, combinat cu albul frumos… şi cu verdele de brad. Mmmm… lipseşte mirosul de portocală, scorţişoară şi cozonaci şi totul e ca la carte. Poveşti de amor… se aprind în această perioada. E un calm în sufletul omenirii, îl văd şi îl simt an de an. Şi totuşi… anul trecut nu a fost zăpadă la Cluj.

Mă puse driecu, ca să nu zic altfel, să plec şi eu până acasă Craciunul trecut. Casa goală. Bucuria, doar în ochii motanului şi ai bunicuţei pe care într-atât o iubesc. Sentimente pierdute pe străzile gri, şi pline de mizerie… emoţii şi vechi trăiri m-au inundat… Era ca şi cum mă rugăm zi de zi, să văd şi altceva înafara de gheaţă. Altceva înafara de vânt, şi aburi din gurile oamenilor. Dar nu fu să fie.

Mă uit spre cer… cum adesea făceam şi cerul gri. Mă uitam în jur, oamenii sumbri. Mă uitam în pământ… pământul îngheţat. Aşa fu o iarnă fără zăpadă, toată lumea tânjea după zăpadă. Şi zăpadă nu fu.

Azi mă uit din nou spre cer, la încurajarea lui Iată Lumea şi văd crengi multe, pescăruşi care zboara, nori frumoşi din când în când şi mai ales… nimic.

Choice or not something died inside of me. Choice or not, i still believe in miracles. I turn my eyes to the sky… Choice or not, my heart belongs to …him.

Omul cat traieste uita

•Decembrie 31, 2012 • Lasă un comentariu

Undeva între sentiment şi încăpăţânare supravieţuiesc încă acestei ţări. România. Zi cu zi, lună cu lună, an cu an, trec peste chestii pe care am ajuns să le tolerez din obişnuinţă. Încep să îmi dau seama, că lumea mă tratează plină de frustrare şi nepăsări, pentru că nu mai sunt capabili de speranţe şi vise, şi pentru că dacă acelea există sunt transpuse în tâmpenii materiale, inutile şi fără sens. Realizează că nu sunt suficienţi de buni în a face un lucru bun, şi asta devine ceva care le ocupă tot timpul. Sau nu realizează nimic, asta e mai plauzibil.

Spre exemplu: trăim într-o ţară care în decursul dezvoltării sale, dacă o putem numi aşa, a trecut prin etape proaste, de degradare, de epuizare fizică, de munca prost plătită, de legi una mai proastă şi mai absurdă ca cealaltă, de persecutarea singurilor oameni care dincolo de cuvinte promiteau inteligenţă în acţiuni, de altfel nu ştiu încă un caz care ca şi această ţară să îşi asasineze intelectualii şi să continue şi după acest fapt extrem de degradant, să o facă la fel, dar fără să îi ucidă.

O ţară ai cărei conducători needucaţi din toate punctele de vedere, nu are nimic de oferit unui cetăţean simplu. Cetăţeanul în această ţară e provocat să treacă dincolo de lege, şi asta pentru siguranţa familiei, din lăcomie, panică şi nesiguranţă. Ce fel de viaţa trebuie să ai ca să poţi să trăieşti nestingherit în astfel de atmosferă? Una fooooarte plină de lucruri bune. Oh well, cred că peste tot oamenii sunt la fel, răi,  buni, hoţi, proşti, inteligenţi şi nebuni. Depinde însă de contextul social sau care din cele enumerate predomină. Pentru că la noi predomină nebunia şi haosul şi toate la un loc triplate, hai sus paharul, LA MULŢI ANI !